sweetlillielove

"The River"

She ran until her face was numb with cold and
Wore a cotton gown that blazed the night untold.
She ran until her feet refused to hold
So heavy a heart for someone merely ten years old.
And when she reached the river her knees began to shiver,
Her head with pounding voices from home.
Behind her was a vision, a painful apparition
Of a darker world that no-one should know.

Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
The river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
No never again.

She dived beneath the water's icy skin,
Hoping the cold would kill the smell of angry gin,
And her eyes grew wider than they'd ever been
Just wishing the numbness to cut deeper with its pins.
And as her body lay there she decided to stay there
Till darkness came to pull her away.
And beautifully she sank as up river was the bank
Where some bodiless troubles would stay.

Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
The river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
No never again.

Somebody's bed will never be warm again,
The river will keep this friend.
Yeah somebody's bed will never be warm again,
No never again.

I heard
That you're settled down
That you
Found a girl
And you're
Married now

I heard
That your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things
I didn't give to you

Old friend
Why are you so shy?
Ain't like you to hold back
Or hide from the light

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me", I begged
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."
Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead,
Yeah.

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday
It was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise
Of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it.
I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded
That for me it isn't over.

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me", I begged
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead."

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known
How bittersweet this would taste?

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
"Don't forget me", I begged
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

Never mind
I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
"Don't forget me", I begged
"I'll remember", you said
"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

"Sometimes it lasts in love
But sometimes it hurts instead"

~Adele

So I went to a sleepover at a friend's house last night.  We had a really great time.  Around 3:30 we decided to walk outside.  Because I am THAT awesome, I managed to be attacked by the ground.  I suppose you could say I FELL, but we don't have to get too technical, do we?  Anyways... My natural instincts failed and decided my chin would be the best way to break my fall (not the hands, you know, that would make too much sense).

It was pretty painful... Luckily I have awesome friends (one of which is a lifeguard and is trained in first aid) that were able to get me inside, wash out all my gashes and abrasions, and bandage me up.  I have band-aids on both of my feet/ankles and my hands... I have gauze bandages on each of my knees, my right shoulder, and chest/right breast area (Yep, tank tops aren't the best for coverage when you slide on pavement).  So after about 45 minutes, my friends decided to tell the mother in the household, due to that my chin was bleeding through the gauze and tape.  She was great and actually made a butterfly type band-aid from a regular one.  Unfortunately, she ALSO told me that it looked like it needed 4 or 5 stitches.  I had never had stitches and this scared me.  So I had to call my mother at 4:30 in the morning and she came and got me... She took me to the emergency room and we waited from 5:30 until 7:30 to get taken back to a bed.  Then I had to wait another hour and a half to be seen.  They then gave me lidocaine shots in my chin, and cleaned it out...  Then stitches!  It actually wasn't bad at all, what with the numbing... And only 5 stitches.  Then a nice tech washed out all of the cuts, abrasions, etc.  with soap and water (hurt like a fucking bitch), put ointment on it, and re-bandaged everything!  On my way home I stopped back at the friend's house and visited with my people.  They are very sweet and I love them both.

I'm pretty okay now, just lots of burning... And it's awkward to do much of anything because I have a huge bandage on my chin and you use that thing A LOT more than I realized!  So yes.  Everything's okay now.  Just thought I'd update.

<3

I feel like no one cares.

I feel like no one is listening.

I feel like no one loves me.

I feel neglected.

I feel beyond any help that could have been previously provided.

I feel alone.

I feel like I have no one.

I feel hurt.

I feel sad.

I feel as though I will never be good enough for anyone.

I feel scared.

I feel like a disappointment.

I feel unwanted.

I feel hated.

I feel physically and metaphysically ugly.

I feel hopeless.

Put on a smile.  Hide yourself.  Trust someone.  Get hurt.  Smile again.  "Are you okay?"  "Yeah I'm fine."

Soo... It's been a little more than 4 months since my last journal entry... It's been busy!  *completely drawing a blank* Things have happened, I swear.  Well, at the moment I'm putting off writing my commentary for English due tomorrow.  Oh!  Midterms were last week.  That went well-ish.  I had to go in Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.  It was good that I didn't have any on Friday because... That's when my niece was born!  Yay baby!  She's adorable.  I think I'll be uploading a picture of her shortly.  Her name is Emma and she was 7 pounds 7 ounces and 19.25 inches at birth.  Or so we think.  The nurse came in the next day and said their scale may have been calibrated wrong, since she weighed 6 more ounces after a few hours.  *giggle* Yay hospital efficiency!  Anyways... She's being all babylike, as babies so often do.  She has tons of hair.  My sister(the mother) calls her Chunky Monkey because she's plump.  That's okay, I still love her.  Well I had better get to that commentary so there's time to visit baby at the hospital today!  Have a lovely day.

<3